• Kiara Jacobs

The Mask Must Fall

Why is it sometimes, no matter how many people surround us, how many connections we have made, we still feel alone?

At some point in our childhood, healthy or otherwise, we learnt that we are liked best when we are happy, smiling, positive and outgoing, with the ability to inspire this in others. We engage with more people, attract more attention, and build larger circles of friends when we put ourselves out there as fun loving and carefree.

We desire to be liked by those around us, some of us so much so that we pursue careers that feed this deep need to be approved, accepted, appreciated, and loved. The number one job that reports the largest number of people seeking this validation is Comedy. Entertainer’s put themselves in front of crowds of people, creating fun and engaging atmospheres through their performances. Entertainers need to be liked to succeed.

Knowing we are liked more when we portray ourselves to be a certain way, can sometimes lead to hiding who we really are. Hiding the darker side of ourselves, a side everyone has. Keeping others from seeing when we are stressed and anxious, depressed and not coping. We put on a mask when we engage with other people. They never see our true selves. We don’t let them reject us. We don’t accept imperfections so seek only perfection and we end up not just seeking this within ourselves but within others too.

This is lonely. We never feel truly understood and accepted for who we are regardless of how many people we surround ourselves with and we can never understand and accept others while we hold ourselves to such a high standard.

Feeling misunderstood and misjudged just encourages the mask to be worn more often but can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. The connections we make will never be completely satisfying, they will never feel real. Until we take the mask off, accept the inevitable rejections, show others who we really are, flaws and all, and accept this in others, our ability to make meaningful connections and develop lifelong relationships is almost non-existent.

Take the mask off. It will fall any way. They will see you even if just for brief moments. If there's a monster underneath, work on bettering yourself, but It’s ok to not be perfect, and its perfect to not always be ok.

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